Detox Diet - An Exercise in Restraint

It started on a Sunday. The biggest challenge to the intestinal system since having fasted for a full month some years back during Ramadhan season. This time; a week-long diet that consists of only liquid meals, five times daily, made up of fruits and veggies, juiced and blended together. No other food intake is allowed, no snacking on solids, just glasses of water to hold us over from one watery meal to another.

My better half, Dee, had planned this for months after tuning in on  close friends' advice and experience. "You'll feel more energized! Lose those cravings for coffee and caffeine. Your skin will glow. Lose weight! It's great for your overall health." Sounds convincing. If it worked for them, it would surely work for us. Right..?

A big thanks goes out to a certain Mr. Vale who authored a book about juice dieting. With a menu list comprising of names like "Super Chute", "Turbo Express" and "Lemon Ginger Zinger", made from ingredients comprising of, among others; kale, wheatgrass, spirulina (powdered) and high potency probiotic capsules, on top of the base of apples, celery and pineapples. Our week's grocery bill surpassed $400.

Then came the process of creating those jazzy juices. Slicing the fruits and vegetables into chunks fit for an electric juicer, pulverizing the produce inside the machine, pour into blender, add supplements and avocado, mix like crazy into puree. A typical day's preparation of 5 meals with good cooperation between husband and wife took approximately 2 hours. And the resulting concoction…? Green slop.


Please don't let the shot-size glasses in the image above fool you. Each meal was the size of oversized mugs. And the taste..? Let's just say that for the first couple of days, the juices were refreshing, even if we often had to hold our breaths upon chugging down the potions. Oh, btw, in all honesty, not all the juices look like algae-riddled lake water. Those that contain beetroot were reddish in colour. Similar to storm drain runoff.

On day 3, the better-half and I did a session of yoga to fully feel the part. Cause we all know… all health freaks do some kind of yoga, right? I hadn't done yoga in over ten years, and never did enjoy it that one time at the company gym. Don't expect a chubby chap like me to bend over and touch my buttocks with my nose.

By day 4, I realized I had gained, to my surprise, heightened senses! Whether it was the diet or a freak of nature… I could actually smell grilled mushrooms on burger from miles away!!

On the morning of day 5 I woke up early. Very early. Not a normal ritual for a sloth like myself. The rumble of the stomach creates an effective alarm clock.

Day 6. I swear my canines - teeth, not dogs - had grown an inch longer and sharper. Like a vampire to blood, like bees to honey, a moth to a flame. Heaven help that wandering raccoon in the back alley!

Day 7. They say the most difficult stretch of a runner's marathon is his last kilometre. At this point, I felt I would rather starve than gulp down another mug. Fortunately, the middle meal was a mix of bananas and yoghurt. Ingredients closer to the heart and more agreeable to the digestive system. 

Sunday morning. The weigh-in. A quick hop on the scales told the tale. From 86kg from when I started to 83 kilos a week later. Well, well.., that's worthy of an imperial conversion of over 6.5lbs. Not too shabby. Even though my skin did look a tad duller than usual throughout the week, my biggest achievement was that I succeeded in keeping my emotions in check.

Let's raise a glass of detox juice on this momentous occasion!

September 2012

© Prakoso Sastrowardoyo 2012